This week, even though it is wednesday has been great since Friday. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. I dont really know why? Maybe anticipation? Maybe realization? I should honestly be super stressed out about now, no job, the person who you think you love, but realize now that you don’t hasn’t tried to make contact with you other than sending a one sentence email, still thinks everything is ok, stressing out about trying to find a job, Family rumours, but no, i am happy.
I guess it started Friday,
hanging out with Brittany, doing homework, or for me…procrastinating doing homework and than going out to eat with my friends. Than saturday, I didn’t have work, simply because It is end of season and i got my “termination” notice, and I got to spend a good chunk of the day with my mom, and the other chunk of the day with my good friends: Brittany, Thomas, Eric, Zac, Paulo, Rhea, Joash, and even new friends, Jason, Kelsey, Jordan (I am sorry if i forgot anyone). Than sunday, chilled at home cleaned packed and watched the Grammy’s with Ashleigh.
but still no contact with you.
But hey, thats ok, because I am Happy. Happier than I have been in a long time, I wouldn’t say I am jumping for joy all the time, but considering how miserable I have been the passed few months, its pretty much 100% better. I have realized, I am so much happier with out you, your not really what I would call “my type”. Considering I dont have a type, you are not it. After many tears, and fights with myself, and letting everything out to my friends (who i am so greatful for) I finally admitted to myself that I can do better, I deserve to be with someone that I can be myself around and not have to filter out everything I say, or do, and not feel judged.
So I am letting you go, picking up where i left off, lifting up my head cause I am better than letting someone walk all over me and disrespect me, and push me around and make me feel like shit.
I dont need you, I have my friends, New ones and my old ones. I have my family (even thou they drive me to drink) And thats all I need.
That is My Final Answer. Maybe one day we can be friends, but that day is a long way from now.
For a moment i thought you didn’t know anything about me. Except you do. You know when I’m mad just by looking at me. You know when im in a goofy mood just by looking at me and you know when I am upset just by looking at me. You know when Im jelous, you know that when I say it doesn’t bug me it does 90% of the time. You probably know me more than I give you credit for. You said something that really ment a lot to me and really made me think: “
you can’t get others to fix what they did, if someone came up to you and called you a fucking bitch do you expect them to fix it, no you fix it your self, pick yourself up and get over it, and that is for everything not just people pissing you off” .
You may know me and love me, but it gonna take a lot more than just a “skype date” once in a while. Your cell phone isn’t even working. I am sorry for not giving you enough credit for how much you know me. You even memorized my phone number. what suprised me a lot. One thing you need to work on…remembering my birthday.
Somedays, it is nice to turn my phone off, cause i wont look at it. but i also know im not wanted to you. And the people who know me and want to get a hold of me can and actually care about me know how to get a hold of me. but i know you wont. because all you care about is yourself.
So sick of being in this drama and I dont even live there. Just cause my cousin is my cousin and all of you hate her. and yeah she has done some shitty things, but I’m NOT HER! I am ME! but i love her.
I can’t wait forever is all that you said Before you stood up And you won’t disappoint me I can do that myself But I’m glad that you’ve come Now if you don’t mind
Leave, leave, And free yourself at the same time Leave, leave, I don’t understand, you’ve already gone
I hope you feel better Now that it’s out What took you so long And the truth has a habit Of falling outta your mouth Well now that it’s come If you don’t mind
Leave, leave, And please yourself at the same time Leave, leave, Let go of my hand You said what you have to now Leave, leave, Let go of my hand You said what you came to now Leave, leave, Leave, leave, Let go of my hand You said what you have to now Leave, leave.